Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize