it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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