Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
