I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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