Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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