butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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