we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
