i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
