Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
