need another drink. this is the easiest way
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
