wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
