my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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