you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
