i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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