Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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