Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
