I want you more than these girls want KFC
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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