So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
