Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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