capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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