My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
