exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I think people are normalizing furries
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
