there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
