my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
