i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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