A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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