My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
