Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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