So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Terrible idea I love it
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
