Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
