walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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