he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Dick very happy bro
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
