How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sober January is a disaster.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
