so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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