She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
