but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
