ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
