I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I wish i was in the wii world.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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