I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
