I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
