New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
