he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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