You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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