I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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