You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
