i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
