So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
