One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
they're like a gay fantastic four
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
