We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
should my penis look like a turkey
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
