therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
