508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
