capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
