i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
