I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
