You just made me feel so damn special
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
