he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
