I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he puts the penis in happiness.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
After tacos, we're chasing women.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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