this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What a dumb baby whore.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
