Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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