with your own penis?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize