HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
